House of Cards: An LGBTQIA2+ Podcast
House of Cards: An LGBTQIA2+ Podcast

Episode · 1 year ago

House of Cards: An LGBTQ Podcast: Reproductive Technologies


Today! Jaxson was out being lame and Jesse had been kidnapped for family events! So Avery and Simone were left to their own devices! But Jaxson made sure his presences would still be felt as he and avery pranked Simone! After that spoof, Avery and Simone talked about Marvel gay heros before moving on to the topic of the day Reproductive Technologies! We hope you liked the epsiode and we hope to see you next week! if not, have a good rest of your life! Remember you are vaild as fuck, and stay gay.

Twitter: @LGBT_deck

Instagram: @houseofcards_podcast

Tiktok: @houseofcardslgbt

Written by Avery Ann

Edited by Jaxson Stiles

Produced by: Jaxson , Avery and Simone, Jesse,

Music: Lofi-Missing memories , lofi fading away, lofi fly and lofi escapie,

By I like dipped out, because I okay, sweete recording. Amazing. Why? VIBE'S IS ALIEN GENDER NORMS? Who? Interesting, Nice. Have you read through your parts? Yes, kind of the parts that I can read. Yes, okay, I did change them a tiny bit since Jeff couldn't be here. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, so I guess one. Never I'm ready. Oh Yo, what is this? Hey, what? What? Avery? What is this avery? What is this? Is the Communist Manifesto? Is it actually? It is part of it. Oh No, what if I do? Oh Fuck, what did I do to im? I'm not sure what you did, but, in case you haven't noticed, you have been spoofed. was originally it was supposed to be you. And yes, because Jackson, my dear friend Jackson, could not be here for this episode, he and I decided that we would spoof Simone and Jess what the hell, with a script of the con in his manifesto. He requested this of me and I have done it. It has been done. Our actually tab it is reproductive technologies. Wacky. Okay indeed. Let's start the actual episode. Okay, hey there, demons, it's me, your boy, I'm Abrian. Welcome to the House of cards and lgbtq plus podcast. I have been watching Guardantuan amount of busbeed unsolved. My brain is fried. I love that for you. Hi, I'm Simon. I use she. They pronounced every ranked the fuck out of me. I didn't even notice that because I was like trying to read through my script, but I kept getting distracted by the fact that like the other thing was jumbled. MMMMMMM yes, Jackson and I Frank Simone, that was horrible. That was a hate private. That was a hate crime, the communist manifest though. Hate crime. It was supposed to be for both Simon and jess but unfortunately just has been seized by their grandfather. So quttacked right now, I feel. And then, also, because like I had a really bad mental day, Jackson and I were also like laughing that you guys were going to think that I had just gone completely over the edge. Oh my God, we were joking. We were like, wow, avery's had a fucking stroke. That's so mean. What the hell. I'm so sad it's not even April first.

Well, because Jackson is uneven to be here because he's studying for his chemistry diploma, which is Um he lame. It's lame. Yeah, yeah, how dare such a door? And I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. A love me test. We love him, we do. I'M gonna get a text like a month from now when he said the thing that you are all who's gonna be like, what the fuck'd be like? How do you call me a Dork? Who Do you call me late? I mean because we can't do chemistry. So I I can do chemistry. I purposefully failed chemistry because I wanted my teacher to get fired. Oh my God, that is so valid. I shouldn't stopped going. Yeah, I actually I couldn't do chemistry. I thought I'd be great at it and then I passed with fifty two percent. I failed successfully with a twenty two. Oh my God, and keep like okay. So keep in mind at the beginning of the semester I've been getting like s and s on all the tests. fucking how people can understand chemistry like I can't. I didn't understand it. I would just cram like thirty minute. It's before class started if there is a test, and then somehow it made my brain go Burg. Oh my God, Hi, fucking wish. That's just how my brain works like. I did an entire math unit in two hours the other day and I ended up getting like ninety percent on the final unit test. You're Goo scirlwash Shit. Straight up, I don't remember any of it now, but you know, yeah, my literally my entire eleventh grade here. Would you like to do some promotions? Oh yes, I will promote our social media, even though I'm heartbroken about being cranked. Follow us on instagram. Our INSTAGRAM is post cards underscore podcast, our twitter is lgbt underscore deck and our tick tock is house of cards podcast. I don't think any of US actually posted our tick tock anymore, though. No, Jackson did make us like a post and schedule, I think, for the month of August, and then none of us ever did it again. My excuse is I switched medications for the fifth time. I mean like everyone's in a while. I do something on the instagram like actually, and I'm I wrote this into the episode, Marvel has an actual fucking gay stuperd hero. Now, okay, who is it, because please tell me it's you, Lena it. I mean no, abso sexual or she is in the commics, but like I'm talking like mcu. Okay, yes, I wanted to those. See E turnals over there the weekend and there was like an actual fucking like man on man kissed and like actual like admittance of being husbands and Shit, like there was no beating around the bush. Oh my God, what were their names? I need to be those. That sounds so weird. Um, that sounds like those and but okay, that sounds like the weird Fetishiz Asian thing middle school girls do about gay men when they read what pet fan fictions with damn and Phil. Oh my God, thanks. Sorry, that wasn't targeted any at anyone.

I was about to say their names. That would have been bad, right. Yeah, redacted, redacted and redacted fives. Call them out. I did, but, oh my God, I swear in the theater, like I like saw them on screen and I was like Yay immediately, but I was also like, oh, Marvel's just gonna let have them be like rutter. I was like, okay, look, like like let's be realistic. This is marvel. They did fucking selfset with like low key. So I was like yeah, okay, they're not actually going to be like gay. Yeah, like I had I had like a accepted that but then you like it. Come one scene and it's like the Superhero says my husband, the words my husband, and I like, Oh my God, I swear I am stroked right then and there. What if they make it sistet somehow? I know, I know it might. They might. Oh my God, what if? Oh God, I just had the worst theory in the world crossed my mind. Oh my God, I don't even want to know. I don't even want to know. No, no, it's okay. What if, like Stanley, was super homophobic and prevented all of the movies from having gay characters anyways? Oh No, now, what if? Now I have to Google this? How dare you? Sorry, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. Was Stanley Homophoban? I don't think so. It did nothing, nothing really says like that. He was. Oh Um, first thing I found was a reddit post. It said he may be racist. From facebook. Yeah, Um, oh, stay, Stanley made it okay for us to be Queer, but I saw that too. Yeah, I can't find anything that says he might have been homophobic, but who knows? Dude might have been. He was a little cell. Tom Holland is open to spider man coming out as gay. I thought that, dude, the baby loses. Oh my God, yeah, like I know why there's a baby article here, but I'm talking about Stanley, right, it's Stanley, just Dah baby. Okay, according to an eye funny article title, Stanley was racist and homophobic and other things. This is so heartbreaking. We may say it was probably likely. There would have been so many more fruity characters if he was not, Hopele phobic. Let's be real here. Facts. You cannot. You cannot wear a skin tight suit and not be a little fruity. That is so true. I'm just seeing anyways. Yeah, but then, like the characters, they these two men, actually kissed on screen. They did. So, what's they? They did. So it's not just queer bathing like supernatural. It like actually happened. Yeah, they like actually kiss. There was lip on limp I wife, I like lack to my friends, like jaw drop, and I just did the limperus thing like over and over again. This is, Oh my God, right, like the best moment in cinematic history, like ever. Oh my God, I mean it's be honest. It was probably only because it was not directed by the Russ or like Kevin Figgy, but we are taking... anyways. Tony Starts Bisexual. Yes, I don't care what anyone says. Tony Stark Bisexual. Peter Parker Bisexual, like this is ours. Bisexual Sexual. DEADPOOL'S PAN sexual. Apparently that's true. That's actually cannon, like, yeah, I know that. That's not why I'm UN in the comics and also Canadian, but he is and we stand and that is cannon in the movies. So yeah, maybe that's what my dad like s deadpool so much because he's fruity and Canadian. That incredible. That is so valid. I know. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Look to the top office. I think we should. We've been a lot of time talking about gay superheroes, but prefos. That should be the that should be the job. Oh my God. Well, yeah, adding it to the topic list, as you should. That's how you add it. Okay, got it. Thirty superheroes, nice and now amazing. Okay, our topic today is reproductive technologies. I just learned about this and bio actually, on my God, no way, like I skimped over it so I could do the projects, but I learned it in quotations. anyways. Yes, I reference the textbook on tests. Okay, we've talked a lot about different topics on this podcast, but today we're going to be talking about the ways that lgbtq plus couples can have biological children. I just hit my microphone. That probably sounded goofy here. Anything too bad indeed. Today we are talking about baby making. That was what anyways, whether you believe them, babies come from storks or are mailed in parts without two venules, like in the two thousand and five note for your robots. What I've been thinking about that movie a lot. Not gonna lie. ANYWAYS, we're here to set the record. Gay Babies are made when a sperm and an egg love each other very much. The conjoined nucleus of the sperm and egg then divide into a great big ball of cells and then abricadaver. There's a baby the size of a paper clip and Mommy's Tummy. Mommy, sorry, Mommy, sorry, Mommy, sorry, tits. Fuck Shit. This is the glafter moving on, while the more traditional way to joining firm and egg plain, old, boring penis in a vagina sense. Sex, not sense, oh my God's sense, say. Also, bumping, ugly, knocking Boog and putting your telescope on my island. Oh me, no need in other ways to you did not incorporate. Okay, I did, I did. That's an inside joke. Today, you know, we're going to be talking about your three forms of reproductive technologies that will out for baby making without ever engaging in, for plain, old, boring penis in vagina sex. Not Sense. Is it my turn? We're the only two people we here. I know that, owing to their historical position, it became a vocation of the aristocracies of France and England to right pamphlets again modern bougeois society. In the French Revolution of July eight thirty, in English reform agitation, these aristocracies again succumb to the hateful upper...

...start. Thenceforth, a serious political struggle was also out of the question. A literary battle alone remained possible, but even in the domain of literature, the old cries of the restoration period had become impossible. These three forms, of these three forms are surgusy, artificial insemination, and IVF, which stands for in vitro fertilization. Sorry, I love thank you. Thank you. Well, surregusy is often accompanied by either artificial insemination, or IVF. We're including it as its own option for LGBTQ plist couples in which neither partners have the cability, capability, capability anyways or desire to carry a child. These technologies are also popular options for people suffering from infertility or who do not want to be pregnant. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Arti facial and semination is one. Sperm is directly I forgot a word. They're they're okay, so like a shell. Artificial insemination is one. Sperm is directly inserted into a female's service. quikside. Not because this episode talks about like biology, we're going to be using female and nail to refer to biological sex instead of like referring to gender as female. So sex is female. Yes, like my biology textbook does. Yeah, because I think it's outdated. It was written in the s anyways. Yeah, yeah, so when firm is directly inserted into a female service, euter and cavity or Philippian tubes, by a doctor, the most common is intra uter and insemination, where the doctor inserts this ferm like just right into the U Dorus and then like it just swins into those sounds got awful Jesus. Yeah, it's actually like done with like a little patheteral thing for something, but like Catheter, I know, is like what you put up like a you're like, I the your and stuff when you're H sotally pet a urine catheter. Oh my God, I'm going to vomit. I think so. But like a B Virgin, it's just like a very long, like little tub thing s just shee. Intentionally become pregnant as a virgin. No, no, it's actually it's by actress. How. anyways, it's a great so I love it. I need to watch it. So I understand. Part of increasing the chances of getting pregnant via artificial insemination is making sure you're ovulating during your insemination. So your doctor will likely use ovulation kids, ultrasounds or bloodcasts to ensure this. Artificial insemination is short and relatively painless procedure that many females describe as similar to a mirror, which is a vaginal procedure that doctors used to checker cervical abnormalities. That's what a PAP smears like. Oh my God, I'm gonna while I'm going. They like, haven't you watched that like you. You put on that big mouth episode one time when we had a sleepover. Yeah, that doesn't mean I paid attention. I was watching funny Dick sact like dogs. Oh, valid, I mean passed me or like in my mind, because, like, I actually have not yet had one. For some...

...reason, my brain thinks of it as like a very long, like little like q tip me, something like that that they put up there, the kind of like Swab. I feel like I should educate myself on what a paps mirror is, because I need to have one when I turn eighteen. Yeah, I actually had to look into getting one moved in the next few months because I'm gonna be Eighteen and Oh, you ak see how you are right. It's a weird thought. That's wild. It is anyway, very continue. Okay, ides IVF, which again is in vitro fertilization, is when the sperm and egg nuclear are joined outside the body. Wacky. In this process, the emails obvulation cycles are monitored and stimulated through hormone treatments. That sounds like shit. Then mature eggs are removed from the ovaries before ovulation. What the fuck? At the same time, sperm sample is collected and the eggs are fertilized in a lab. Lab Babies, yeah, patreded, Childish Child Experiment, fucking frank and sign anyways, then the egg, or eggs, it's usually eggs, because I have to do like a bunch of them to ensure it. They're transferred back into the female's uterus and the hopes that one will implant itself in the uterine wall and grow into a parasite, a baby, a parasite pres I mean, you're not wrong, I'm not. They take everything from you, including your paycheck. Exactly, especially your pay check. US especially, is surgasy. So surgasy is an arrangement, often supported by the legal document, in which a woman serget there's a child for another person or couple, that you'll give the baby two once it's born. There are two types of surrogacy, traditional and just stational. Traditional surgacy is when this target is also the egg donor. There for the surrogate, it's both the birth mother and genetic mother and is done through artificial insemination. So in traditional surgacy it's only like a sperm im plantation. Yeah, just, that's so weird. It's kind of yeah, it's kind of strange. But yeah, so like a little cool, I guess. Yeah, true. Yeah, just stational surgasy is when the surget is only the birth mother, so she's carrying it already fertilized egg, which is done through IDA. So with just stational then it's like it's already been like a mixed together into little patre dish, been stirred up with spoons. Good Soup, and then good, like yeah, good soup and I'm gonna Piss and they need to just like shoved up there. I'm never having children. The Holy Ye. Okay, okay, success rates for reproductive technologies often vary according to age, fertility and reproductive abnormalities. Geez, okay, side effects may include, but are not limited light bleeding, cramping or increased chance of twins or triplets, called by Hunter fucks. Sorry that. Yeah, don't go on. Nevertheless,...

...go forth and have many beautiful LGBTQ plas babies. That I thought I was going to say. Everyone needs gay parents. Well, I mean that too. Yeah, everyone who uses reproductive tech, either for lack of desire to carry a child or inability to carry a child, is valid as book. Yes, what is the sinitive notes. Yes, yes, yeah, I mean, like I didn't really include this in the episode, but like these things are like aches by o Sam, but like fucking everything is in this world. So there are cheaper ways to go about it. Yeah, but also like like there's expensive sperm donation and there's steep spurred the donation, which one is called tender and the other one is called I mean, you're not wrong. That's like the new girl episode where like Nick's cousin asks him to have sex with his wife. Yeah, or like in shameless I've never watching. Oh well, there's this couple who they have the husband have sex with a mother in law to have a child. Oh yeah, it's goofy that. That is so whack. Yeah, yeah, but like reproductive tech is so valid and like, if you're like hating on people for doing ideas, then and I will cresh you up in my blender and I will spit on your brave. It's literally homophobic and we're going to make your bones into bread. Yep, did I just hear a door open? No, that's my chair. It was squeaky. I know she's so squeaky it's terrifying. Well, we love her, we do love her all right, on those joints, losing some oil on those joints. I think she's fine. He Quirky. She Quirky, she creaky. All right. I think that's it for this episode. I think it is as well. I gotta say. Yeah, what is Jackson usually say that we have to do a little thing. We hope you enjoy this episode, hope we see you again, hope see you get in the okay. I think it's like we hope you have a good day, we hope you enjoyed this episode and we hope to see you again. If not, then have a good rest of your life. Anything else to add? Yes, validos. Fuck, I'm going to watch more BUZZF be done. Saw and then Jes says stay gay, Gay, Kay, y'all. By y'all. I'M gonna stop recording now.

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