House of Cards: An LGBTQIA2+ Podcast
House of Cards: An LGBTQIA2+ Podcast

Episode · 1 year ago

House of cards: An LGBTQ Podcast; Vasectomies

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Today! We talked about simones new possible job, How we all overuse our grandpas printer, and a bunch of penis! Our topic was Vasectomies, and we talked abit about the texas abortion laws and how fuck they are! We hope you liked the epsiode and we hope to see you next week! if not, have a good rest of your life! and remember you are vaild as fuck.

Twitter: @LGBT_deck

Instagram: @houseofcards_podcast

Tiktok: @houseofcardslgbt

Written by Avery Ann

Edited by Jaxson Stiles

Produced by: Jaxson , Avery and Simon

Music: Lofi-Missing memories , lofi fading away, lofi fly and lofi escapie, 

Hi, welcome to the House of cause and LGBTQ podcast. I'm Jackson, I'm one of your host and I use he. They pronouns. Hey, I'm some Moan. I she, they pronounce, and I also overuse my grandfather's printer, Abe. That's how you should do it. Yeah, why not? I use it to print pictures of boobies. You use it to print pictures of like sad things. Don't worry, it's okay, we know. No, it's titties, your titties. Yeah, cheers. I'm a Veryan. I am your third and last host. I use she. Her pronouns. I used she, hope, browns, penis. We'll just here to annoy people. Yeah, pretty much, that's all right. Hi, your job, like what else? The vibes feel like you need help, Sweetie. Do you know? Five howls so oft today? Dude. Yeah, that's his stay. That's because Satan has entered your body. Canky rip. Yeah, I know it sucks, but what are you gonna do? What you gonna do? What you gonna do? It all down for you junk inside your truck? That we were going to say. Jackson and I had the same idea. Someone went on a completely different path. Yes, there was not even a path. She cut down her own tree. Oh, fuck me, thanks, I'm looking at video games. Cool, no way. How many? Do you know how many hookers I bought today? I can count them out for you. One, two, three, four, five, six colon. Yeah, you want to tell us that thing we were talking about before I got a job interview then. What kind of establishment was it, because I don't think you should say the title, but what kind of astalishment? It's a strip club. Just kidding into a restaurant, Babe. If you got a strip club, I'm calling the police. Dude. One of my friends, MOM's worked at a strip club when she was seventeen and like the s or whatever, but that was the S. Yeah, I was the S. I just I think it's funny because she's also like the most Catholic woman I've ever met. Sweetie, cool, Sweetie, yeah, we won't saying there's anything wrong with that. Oh No, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just interesting, yes, but I hope what you said anyway. What do you like? What's the interview for? For be being a server? My buttons. You you'd be a good so ...

...far. Just say that whenever you like delivering food my buttons on my chat buttons. I'm counting my buttons for the sweater I'm making, which totally is not a hairy style sweater, because I'm actually not a hairy style stamp, so that would be very weird. Dude, I bet you're gonna be just like me as a sofa. I'll probably. I bet you're going to be. I Bet I'm great. Yeah, I like a name. No, like, I'm really Gonnat, like bouncing a tray of drinks. Now I'm gonna everything, so exactly, exactly, exactly the day last. Oh my God, God, imagine not having a job. Couldn't be me, insomone. I literally don't have a job right now, homy. Yes, you do, you've been hired. Congratulation, Dude. Last job interview I went to, they were like sorry, you have to be eighteen. So my plan is to just say, yeah, I'm eighteen, and if they check my ID and then they're like you have to be eighteen, sorry, then I'm like well, okay, at least there's a chance I would have gotten the job. Honey, that's called lying. Yeah, exactly, you know. No, you understand that, like when you hire somewhere. They get all of your information. Right. Oh yeah, but it don't if they didn't bother to check that. My resume says I'm a high school student. That's on them. We'll look at it. WE'RE NOT gonna get into this. I think we have more pots. Don't worry about like sex to MEES. No, we're not even done everything yet. Some mount come on, you still gotta promote Bestie Kinky. Okay, if you want to find us on Instagram, don't. Actually don't find us on instagram. You shouldn't, but if you want to, you can find us at ust of cards, underscore podcast, on twitter, lgbt underscore deck and on pick pockets, humes of cards podcast house. Some cads. What podcast? Sorry, what? What gast? Sorry, I can hear you. Suck my Dick. I'll do it later, baby. Okay, so you can hear you, asshole. Of course I can hear you. Oh goodness, what do you not do you not? Do you not like this avery? Do you not like when means Moan Flora, because I hear it every time I edit. Is this flurting? Yeah, this is us. What is this not Florida? And why do people not like me? Maybe it's your personality. Why? You mean like you know what? ejectively speaking, she does have a point. Maybe you just have a bad personality. What the fuck? Why is...

...this a Taxomona? Because I'm tired and I want to prove my love for you. Suck my Dick. I will dicks Ay, Ay, that wasn't great transition. I applaud you, snap, snap, was that actually good? Yeah, thing about this. That's exactly what's going on here. Don't be a mistaken. My Guy Starting, I know, I'm starting all of us Sidey, waiting for a very avery. Who's going forced? That's the name real able knowing do anyways, is already I was planning to write this episode on abortions, given absolute fuckery going on in Texas, but Jackson and s Moan already did that one and forgot to cross it off on our episode topic list. Oh, which is why I'm so not realize. I'm it's called jokes. So instead we're going to be talking about the sectomy is and for an important reason, I will say that in this topic we will be having discussions of the Texas Abortion Dan. So there is a bit of a content warning before discussions of abortion and slight sexual assault, and that important reason being that there are currently no measures to prevent men from accidentally impregnating women, by their consensual or not. So what? Okay, this reason also stupid as fuck. Currently, a woman can give birth maybe once a year, annually, but if we do the math of an average life bearing time period, Canadian statistics of the way, that's roughly thirty eight point six years a woman could be giving birth. That's a theoretical thirty nine children born in the span of a woman's life, assuming the woman is only pregnant with one child every time, that's a lot of fucking kids that we don't need anyways. Um, by the way, this isn't like an unrealistic number. The most births to one woman has had is twenty seven. My bit life character that I was just playing the actually had twenty children. You play? My God, played a man in bit life once and I had like a hundred and ten children. Oh my God, I want. was playing bit life and I was just living my best life and they just kept getting pregnant. I'm stop your fertility, dude. I put my fertility at that highest whenever I'm...

...like playing royalty, because I bought the full version of the game. So did I. I know I have. I always have, like so many fucking kids. I mean it, once I did get accused of a crime I didn't commit and then I died in prison. One time I joined the Mafia. One time I made my special talent crime. I I actually want to do that one day. I want to do them to play is that. It's honestly not that fun to go to prison like straightaway. Honestly, that's not a very good talent them. Yeah, looks like you're just like as soon as you join the mafia, like you a prison. Maybe be good at your charm. I anyways, sixteen pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets, equally a total of sixty children. That was the most parts one woman had. So she had sixty nine children. I kind of love her. Well, fair, looking at it this way. Currently, according to one article, one one, we're gonna say, numbers a lot, so I'm going to know. So, according to an article, a man could pregnant nine women every day for Holy Fuck, Whoa what a hole, for nine nine, resulting in two thousand, four hundred and thirty boars, all of which was summon I'm having for their men can reproduce for roughly eighty nine years. Are that it remind you that most men start at the age of twelve, ten two, so the average is eleven. So did you can't still? Did you wait? Really, did you mean? Did you mean to like they could add eighty nine, or did you mean like eighty nine years plus? I love him, you know, look like. You said men can reproduce for roughly eighty nine years. Is that like a like from when a man can start to rebruse and until he can no longer, or from the time of man is born to the time of Man Dies? No, from a time of man can reproduce to the time that he can't. We screen for most. That's like, Holy Fuck. Yeah, that is a hundred. Hello, hollow, we should hear it of men. Yeah, anyway. So roughly, men could reproduce into the hundreds. So if the map is correct, which are, well,...

...we are gay. We are gay. That's true. We are gay. That's a through radical two hundred eighty eight thousand, three hundred and sixty babies in one man's lifetime. Again, under the exception that you pregny resulted in one baby, not including triplets, quadruplets, twins, dumb asses. Yes, doctors let you carry more than four, though this is also under the assumption that there are no miscarriages, that there's no other cause for the baby to die after it like right at for this is a corn that if every single time, like, every woman got pregnant and all of the babies went to a full time and we'll give him both healthy and survived longer than a day. Yes, and you don't need to be a mathematician. You don't need to stop it. Stop. Exists. Stop, stop, stop, exist. Don't want to do it anymore. took a dark current, but you don't need to be a math Tissian to realize that two hundred eighty eight thousand three hundred sixty is extra, extra, extra, exponentially expology more. That's fun. That's eventually more babies than thirty. Not what. Sorry, I sorry, it is. Imagine. God, I'm not gonna map when I'm in. I was. I was in my Ta, which is home room, and my map, my home room teacher, is a map, is a math teacher. He's okay, we have three boxes of twelve. How many donuts can every student have? And I said everyone gets the wrong bolls. Jackson, I love that Sorr. Anywhere. Where do you ve Testamees way, you cut a ball off come into play. No, Um, that's not what happens that. It is passtration. It is. No, it is. I'm correct. No, no, I'm a man, I know better. Yeah, I'm gonna Mute Jackson. That just means you can hear me. Here we get, here we go. So of a pectomy is a surgical procedure that sterilizes mass. So the procedure. It steals the tubes that connect sperm to the urethrone. Sperm is still produced in the test. He's but the vasectomy stops for from exiting the body. Here go result to me now pregnancies. Sects are considered to be a permanent form of male contraception, that they can actually repair themselves in very rare cases and, despite popular belief, they're actually reversible. Even more shocking, is more effective than people realize. There are myths that the sect to the reversals are very rare in risk heat. That's not true. According to an article from...

...health dot Cleveland at cleve Cleveland Dot Org. Sorry, claims that the sex be reversals are an outpatient operation, meaning you don't have to be admitted to a hospital and you can leave a few hours after, with high success rates. Another myth is that they can't be reversed with age. Again, non entirely true. Success rates are as high as ninety five percent. Percent is a v sect me has been done in the past ten years. Success rates only begins to decline after fifteen years have passed. We, as you can tell, we are professional podcast as. We use Cleveland Clinic DOT ORG as all. Yes, I'm sorry, but I'm sure that that's true. I'm listen. It's your unzipping the buckle. That's all of it. Hello, excuse what? Like? All you're doing is unsealing something, and people do that all the time, right, yes, yes, yeah, yeah, not hard to unseal a vit, a vein. Sorry, notify a vein. It's not a it's a tub, just spermicide's loop. Just kidding. Don't do that. That's probably a very bad idea. I'm going to kill April for why. I know it's a vein. You're it's the vessel. That's not best. Is In a vessel? Yeah, it's a vessel. It's not a vein to me. Yeah, you want sweating. Until a nastual hormonal both control pill has been a proof for men, which, yeah, if we could do one that like stopped. Wonder how we could do that. They're actually has been birth the skills for men in testing, and is theorized that they'll be able like to be like bass produced and like offered to men in like a decade? What did they do, I seem basically just like kind of stops, like fs age and led from producing so much. Oh, Oh, is that what? That's what women both toils to as well? Right, yeah, when did it just stop ejaculation at all? No, no, no, still, yeah, what it okay, wait, hang on, there's there's like Merman that there's something else on people sperm. Yes, so I said again, favorite you got cut you like letch. I can or someone was tarking so I couldn't hear you. I just said semen do not equal sperm. Right, I'm just thinking to myself.

Sorry, anyway, I'm like trying to visualize a penis in my mind, but must not be very hard for you. No, but I have to cut it in half and like like pull it apot and like actually look at it. horifying. Google a video of that. Know. Anyway, sorry, so soon there will be one of for men, and you better fucking take it, bitch flood. Many people Seeva test means as the best option for male contraception. Yep. Some have even claimed that presectomies should be a mentor teacher. It should know whether this be the case or not. Mandated by simes would not be as go for one reason. Freedom of choice, and that's when it comes down to the Texas abution. Back at Aso as many others. So next time someone starts bishing about how a Bush should be illegal, awesome, they think all men should be forced them to have access to me. If they say no, that I advocated for pro life, they're just missogynist. When if I believe that bull should be bad and we should just just let the world get overpopulated and then all of us die, absolutely not brow. It's okay, hang on, if I have to have a kid, just traumatize them. Okay, Oh my God, I could create the exerial killer bro Jesus. That got something to look up to. No, yeah, that's pretty much it. Freedom of choice is unforst and the podcast end something that's off right there. Yeah, freedom of choices, unfortunately, something that is still being debated with consideration to what women can and cannot do with their bodies. Frankly, we hear at House of cards think that it is a load of or shit that has been ground up, dranks like a SMOOTHIE, vomited back up again and run over by a man by manew work truck, no matter who you are, like if you have an abortion or not, if you yourself would like consider having an abortion or not, like advocate for freedom of choice because, like that's valid as fuck, and no matter who you are, you be valid as Buto. My mom thinks so. Quite finished cheating on Huh grip Um over fifteen with sometental. That was random. was a good timing, it was actually thought that was that was a vibe. Thank you. Anyway, I'm fucking exhausted, so I think that's all we have, right, unless there's something more everyone's to rant about, which I'm fully step out of. I love. No, I don't think so. You don't. We also think avery for being...

...a gay who had to do math for this, like very much. I did cross, multiply and divide. That's the I don know how to do. Couldn't? Couldn't you just like use a calculator? Well, yeah, but like the cross multiplying divide. That's how I did the math. But couldn't you just used to calculator? Well, yeah, but I still cross multiplying divide on a calculator. That's how that's how you unuse it. Yes, do you not know what? Do you not know what I'm saying? Do Not know? No, Oh wait, I know what you're talking about. I was thinking about long division. I cannot do long division. Yeah, I just put it into my calculator and it does it for me. Imagine I have a graphic calculator does everything. Five hundred dollar. Yeah, I could ask my calculator to wipe my ass and it would. Yeah, anyway, calculator has games on it. It's so cool. I need to do that anyway. Thank you so much from coming today's episode. We hope you actually enjoyed it and aren't as depressed as not going to say that when you're not as depressed as the sun, I prepare for Solo store. Sorry, that's well. No, it's been like a hundred years since the last at storms. Everyone's like, Oh my God, this might be the year since the last. What? Oh, it's a sot. It's when the sun shoots raise at us and hanger, and it won't. It won't kill us. It'll shoot, it won't kill us. It'll just thrown off the WI fi. No, I will be no wi fi for so like, no Internet at all for so long. Then I can't simple over wilbersuit. Dude, then we can talk to each other. I'm I can't say, Oh my God, we will Gerson, we couldn't talk to each other. No, the podcast would be on and put on a whole. I mean, I could just show up, but every's place totally. Should wait. Hold Up, hold up, what's today? Day Is Tuesday. Anyway, thanks just forming today's episode. We hope you enjoyed it. We hope to see you next week. If not, get a VA sectomy. Yes, it's only bad oralsex prevents abortions. Also, your valid as fuck. You're not. You're not wrong, and I hate that. By y'all. Y'All,.

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